We're Not Really Strangers Questions: Original Cards for All Three Levels

What is We're Not Really Strangers?

We're Not Really Strangers is a conversation card game created by artist and model Koreen Odiney. It was first published in 2018 and took off on social media, especially on Instagram, where it grew a large following.

The game is built around three levels. Perception is about the assumptions you make about each other, Connection moves into personal questions people rarely get asked, and Reflection looks back on the conversation you just had. The original deck has 150 cards and is designed for 2 to 6 players, and the brand has since released a Couples Edition, a Friendship Edition and several expansion packs.

The questions on this page are not from any of those decks. They are original prompts we wrote to follow the same arc, so you can try the format before you buy a deck, or keep playing once you've worked through yours.

How to play We're Not Really Strangers style

Split the cards into three piles, one per level, and set your closing activity aside for the end. Players take turns: one person draws a card and asks the question, and the other answers. With more than two people, the asker picks who answers or the question goes around the table. The official rules ask you to answer at least 15 cards on a level before moving up, which works well with our 40 questions per level too.

Wildcards are instructions instead of questions. Shuffle a few into each level, and when one comes up, everyone does what it says before play continues. In the original game, the very last step is a final card where each player writes a note to the other, to be read only after you part. A short handwritten note is a lovely way to close any version of the game.

Want paper cards? Print this page or save it as a PDF from your browser's print menu, cut the questions into strips, and sort them into levels. No download or sign-up needed.

Using these questions with couples, friends and family

For couples, start with a few Level 1 guesses even if you've been together for years. You may be surprised by how differently your partner sees you. Then mix in the couples set, which focuses on shared memories, small habits and plans for the future rather than anything you'd only say on a first date.

With friends, the friends set works well on its own as a warm-up, or alongside Level 2 once the group is comfortable. For family nights, stay mostly with Level 1 and Level 3, skip anything that doesn't fit the room, and remember that passing on a question is always allowed.

Whoever you play with, go slowly. The point is not to finish the pile but to really listen, ask a follow-up, and leave the table knowing each other a little better.

Level 1 style: perception questions

• What do you guess I order when I'm too tired to cook?
• Do I seem like someone who reads the last page of a book first?
• What kind of music do you think I play when nobody else is in the car?
• Do I strike you as an early bird or someone who hits snooze three times?
• What do you think my phone's home screen looks like?
• Which city do you picture me living in ten years from now?
• Do I seem like the planner of my friend group or the one who just shows up?
• What hobby do you think I picked up and quit within a month?
• What would you guess I was known for in elementary school?
• Do I seem like someone who tears up at movies, and if so, which kind?
• What do you think I splurge on that other people would skip?
• If I had a houseplant, would you guess it's thriving or barely hanging on?
• Do I seem like a better texter or a better caller?
• What chore do you think I put off the longest?
• What do you imagine my handwriting looks like?
• Do I come across as more curious or more cautious?
• What do you guess I'd name a boat if I owned one?
• Which decade do you think I secretly wish I'd grown up in?
• Do I seem like someone who keeps a messy car?
• What snack do you think I would never share?
• What do you think I'm like when I'm hungry?
• Do I seem like someone with a strong opinion about pineapple on pizza?
• What job would you guess I wanted when I was seven?
• Do I look like I've ever won a trophy, and what for?
• What do you think my friends tease me about the most?
• Would you guess I'm the oldest, a middle child, the youngest, or an only child?
• What kind of vacation do you think I'd plan if money didn't matter?
• Do I seem like someone who sings in the shower?
• What is one thing you'd guess I'm surprisingly good at?
• Do I seem more comfortable leading a group or supporting one?
• What do you think I'd bring to a potluck?
• Which season do you think matches my personality?
• Do I seem like someone who remembers birthdays without a reminder?
• What do you think was the last thing I looked up online?
• Would you guess I'm more competitive at board games or at sports?
• What sound do you think I find the most relaxing?
• Do I seem like someone with a nickname only my family uses?
• What do you think I'm saving up for right now?
• Which fictional character do you think I'd get along with best?
• Do I seem like the kind of person who apologizes to furniture after bumping into it?

Want 400+ more questions in your pocket?

Cards by Guessy is a free conversation card app for iPhone and Android with more than 400 questions in 9 categories, from date night and family to team building and nostalgia. Several categories are free right away, it works offline, and you can save your favorites.

Level 2 style: connection questions

• What is something you believed as a teenager that you have completely changed your mind about?
• When did you last feel truly proud of yourself, and did you tell anyone?
• What part of growing up do you wish someone had explained to you sooner?
• Who taught you the most about kindness, even if they never meant to?
• What is a fear you have quietly outgrown?
• What do you need more of in your life right now?
• What is a compliment you have never forgotten?
• Which relationship in your life has changed the most in the last five years?
• What is a habit you are trying to unlearn?
• When do you feel most like yourself?
• What is something you are still learning to forgive yourself for?
• What does a good day look like for you, from morning to night?
• What is a risk you are glad you took?
• What is one thing you wish people asked you about more often?
• How do you usually act when you are hurt, and how do you wish you acted?
• What memory do you return to when you need comfort?
• Which of your parents' traits do you see in yourself the most?
• What is a goal you have kept to yourself, and why?
• What did you lose touch with that you would like to bring back?
• What makes you feel safe with another person?
• When was the last time you changed someone's mind, or they changed yours?
• What is the hardest goodbye you have ever said?
• What are you grateful for that you rarely mention?
• What is a question you are afraid to ask yourself?
• Which version of yourself are you working toward?
• What is something you pretend not to care about?
• What does home mean to you now compared with when you were a kid?
• When do you find it hardest to ask for help?
• What is a small moment that ended up changing a big part of your life?
• What do you want people to feel after spending time with you?
• What is a promise you made to yourself that you have kept?
• What would you do differently if no one you knew could see it?
• What is the kindest thing a stranger has done for you?
• What part of your personality took you the longest to accept?
• Who do you miss right now?
• What is a lesson you had to learn more than once?
• What do you hope you never stop doing?
• When did you realize you were no longer a kid?
• What is a belief you hold that most people around you do not share?
• What are you looking forward to that you have not told anyone about?

Level 3 style: reflection questions

• What did I say tonight that you did not expect?
• Which of your guesses about me turned out to be the most accurate?
• Which answer of mine would you like to hear more about?
• What do we have in common that neither of us knew before tonight?
• What has talking with me made you think about in your own life?
• If you had to sum up this conversation in three words, what would they be?
• What did you notice about the way I listen?
• What part of my story do you think I undersell?
• Which question was the hardest for you to answer, and why?
• What would you want me to remember from tonight?
• What do you think I am more ready for than I realize?
• What is one thing you would thank me for after this conversation?
• Which of your early guesses about me would you like to take back?
• What advice of mine, spoken or not, would you actually take?
• Which moment tonight felt the most honest?
• What do you hope I keep doing?
• What would you like to ask me the next time we talk?
• What do you think I find hard to say out loud?
• What do you think makes me a good person to have around?
• What kind of song would you dedicate to me after tonight?
• Which of my answers would you like to borrow for your own life?
• What do you think I am quietly proud of?
• Where do you see me a year from now, after hearing all this?
• What did you learn about yourself while answering my questions?
• If you could leave me a note to read on my next bad day, what would it say?
• Is there anything you held back tonight that you want to say now?
• How do you think this conversation would have gone if we'd had it ten years ago?
• What strength of mine do you think I should lean into more?
• Which of my answers made you smile the most?
• What is one thing you will do differently after this conversation?
• If you could give me a nickname based on tonight, what would it be?
• What do you think I needed to talk about more than I let on?
• If you introduced me at a party based only on tonight, what would you say?
• What do you feel more comfortable sharing with me now than you did an hour ago?
• What part of tonight would you like to repeat?
• What did you notice about how I talk about the people I love?
• What is a question you wish I had asked you?
• Which of your own answers surprised you the most?
• What do you think I should give myself more credit for?
• How do you feel right now compared with when we sat down?

Wildcards

• Swap seats with the other player for the next three cards.
• Take turns naming three things you appreciate about each other, one at a time.
• Describe your ideal Sunday in exactly five words each.
• Hum a song that matters to you and let the other player guess it.
• Write a one-line forecast for the other player's year on a scrap of paper, then swap.
• Both players share the best thing that happened to them this week.
• Sketch a quick portrait of the other player without looking down at the paper.
• Invent a short, ridiculous origin story for how the two of you met.
• Each player asks one question of their own choosing, and no one may skip it.
• Teach the other player something you know how to do in under one minute.
• Each player picks the next song to play and explains why they chose it.
• For the next card, answer in exactly ten words.
• Silently pick an object in the room that represents the other player, then reveal it.
• Tell the other player one thing you would like to do together someday.
• Both players close their eyes and describe what the other person is wearing.
• Play one round of rock, paper, scissors. The winner chooses who answers the next card.

Questions for couples

• What was the moment you knew you wanted a second date with me?
• Which of our everyday routines would you never want to lose?
• What is something I do that makes you feel looked after?
• What is a trip we have not taken yet that you keep picturing?
• How do you like to be comforted after a hard day?
• What is one small thing I could do this week that would make you happy?
• Which memory of us do you replay the most?
• What did you learn about love from the couples you grew up around?
• When do you feel most connected to me?
• What is a tradition you would like us to start?
• What have you been wanting to tell me but have not found the right moment for?
• How have we changed each other for the better?
• What do you think we disagree about the most, and what is it really about?
• What is your favorite way to spend a lazy weekend morning together?
• What is something about me that made you laugh before you knew me well?
• What does a perfect date night look like to you right now?
• What is a dream of yours you would like my help with?
• What do you find easiest to share with me, and what is hardest?
• Which song reminds you of us?
• What do you admire about the way I handle stress?
• How do you like to celebrate good news?
• What would you want our home to feel like in ten years?
• What is a way I show love that you would like more of?
• What was the best surprise we have ever shared?
• Which of our inside jokes is your favorite?
• What is one thing you would like us to get better at as a team?
• How can you tell when I need some space?
• What did you think the first time you met my friends or family?
• Which challenge have we gotten through that made us stronger?
• What is a compliment you would like to hear from me more often?
• What is something new you would like us to try this year?
• If we wrote a book about our relationship, what would the title be?

Questions for friends

• How did we actually become friends, in your version of the story?
• What is a moment with me that you still laugh about?
• Which of my habits would you miss if I moved away?
• What is something you have learned from me without me realizing it?
• What friendship rule do you live by?
• Who was your best friend at age ten, and what were you like together?
• What is the best advice a friend has ever given you?
• Which adventure should we finally plan together?
• What do you think our friendship gives you that others do not?
• When did you feel I really had your back?
• What is something you wish friends did more of for each other?
• Which of our conversations has stuck with you?
• What quality do you look for in new friends these days?
• If we started a business together, what would it be?
• What role do you think I play in our group of friends?
• What is a friendship you outgrew, and what did it teach you?
• What do you think I would be like as a roommate?
• Which movie would the two of us star in together?
• How can I be a better friend to you this year?
• What is a story about me you love telling other people?
• What would our friendship's theme song be?
• What are you proud of that you think I do not know about?
• When do you find it hardest to reach out to friends?
• What does a perfect day together look like for us?
• What is a memory from before we met that you wish I had been part of?
• What made you trust me?
• What should we try while we are still young enough to be bad at it?
• Which of your other friends do you think I would get along with best?
• What is a skill a friend taught you that you still use?
• How do you show friends you care when words are hard?
• What would you want written on a plaque celebrating our friendship?
• What should we promise to do together again next year?